Dr Rhesus Labs FAQ
What was Dr Rhesus like as a little chimp?
Before he was Dr Rhesus, he was Specimen Y-63a from Research Block 7.
His early aptitude in fractal banana peeling, chewing grapes like they were gd vodka-filled ping pong balls, and crazed non-sensical gesturing landed him on the fast track.
Is There a Mrs. Dr Rhesus?
Yes, the dynamic and soulful former lounge singer Ruth "Ruthless" Rhesus is the apple of Dr Rhesus' eye.
How was Dr Rhesus Labs started?
Dr Rhesus was having a Wild Turkey on a flight to a space conference. One led to another and maybe 3 more and the next thing you know Dr Rhesus is overnighting in Hartford and on a no-fly list. While in Hartford for the next 3 weeks until his congressman could smooth things over, Dr Rhesus started the lab.
So, is the Lab based in Hartford?
We are tax-avoiding freedom lovers, so no.
How can Dr Rhesus consistently produce top-tier alpha?
Dr Rhesus rises with the sun each day to assess world alpha modulations. He then briskly goes through a complete fitness program based on Dr Rhesus' time serving with guerilla forces in the hills of Bananastan. This program takes Dr Rhesus 16 minutes, while normal humans require over a week.
Dr Rhesus then strolls the beach, looking for gems and jewels amongst the syringes, glass shards, and pieces of Clorox bottles. He ponders the tapestry of life. He reads trade publications such as Wisconsin Farmer and Space News.
Dr Rhesus then eats a bowl of Alpha-no bits with superfood alphaberries. Dr Rhesus then places alpha generating trades and produces alpha-generating research until sunset.
How does Dr Rhesus unwind given the pressures of generating alpha?
Dr Rhesus calls his bookie and asks what looks juicy.
How can Dr Rhesus be so dreamy?
Dr. Rhesus has struggled with banana liqueur and gambling addictions. He is not perfect.
For the young Alpha generators out there, his journey from a national Space Academy in Middle Asia to the pinnacle of Alpha generation is the stuff dreams are made of.